His Dying Wish
by WolfieANNE
Summary: One-shot: This is for Lucy Heartfilia, my girlfriend, my friend, my teammate and my everything, whom I've broken into pieces all because of an illness that could leave her depressed forever.


**His Dying Wish**

**WARNING:** This chapter was not beta read; I merely proofread this.

**DISCLAIMER:** _I do not own Fairy Tail, Hiro Mashima does._

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The blonde entered the guild, her eyes sore and puffy from crying all night. She headed towards the bar, oblivious of the apologetic stares she was receiving from her friends. As she sat on a stool, Mirajane faced her, a sad smile on her face.

"Have you heard about what happened to Gray?" she asked softly, her voice cracking in the end.

Lucy winced and closed her eyes, "I couldn't care less."

The barmaid sighed softly, "Lucy, I know you're hurt but—"

"But what?" the celestial mage asked. She stood up and slammed her hand down on the counter, her face distorting into rage. "He did this to me, and there's no turning back for whatever he's done."

"Lucy."

The said woman lifted her gaze to find her best friend, Natsu, gripping a piece of paper in his hand. He stared at her with eyes full of pain and for a moment, she was baffled and shocked. But then she turned passive again, watching him as he walked towards her, his hand shaking while he handed her the paper. Lucy stared at it, arching a brow, "And what am I supposed to do with that?"

"Read it," he breathed out, his voice hoarse and raspy like sandpaper, "Please, Luce, read it."

Once again, she was taken aback from how hurt he sounded and nodded numbly, swallowing the lump in her throat. She reluctantly took the piece of paper and stared at if for a long time. She then unfolded it and began reading.

_April 15, 2014_

_Lucy Heartfilia, if you are reading this, then you must know that I've been a total jerk these past couple months and there are no words to explain why I was acting that way. You know I'm not a very smart guy and I can think for hours yet I still wouldn't come up with anything. But, in order for you to understand my actions, I had to dig into myself. This letter wasn't made simply to amuse you, or to excuse myself from all the hurt I've inflicted. This letter is to relay to you why it had to be done and what I want to tell you._

_So, if you're thinking of stopping, please don't. Continue reading until the very end, because hopefully all the sins I've done will be justified when you do._

_December 25, 2013_

_Today was supposed to be special for the both of us. We planned it so carefully, making sure that flame brain and Happy wouldn't interfere. It was supposed to be a day only for us to share and no one else. When we went to buy your ingredients, you took so long, and when you came back out, you saw me kissing some girl you've never seen before. I saw how your smile turned upside down, and I witnessed the tears that slid down your cheeks. And just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, I turned to you and smiled, acting as if it was alright._

_When in reality, it wasn't._

_January 1, 2014_

_It was the start of a new year and I promised you on December 31__st__ that I would never, ever do that again to you. And we made another promise to spend New Year's together at your home. You cooked roasted chicken and made a cake for us. Then the doorbell rang and I took it. I made sure to have a long conversation with Juvia, knowing that she was just there to give you your gift and not because of me. But when you came to check up on me, I kissed her out of the blue, right inside your house, and I smiled at you again._

_I heard you crying too hard that night, and I knew then that you took too much of a blow._

_February 14, 2014_

_I did something bad again today. It's Valentine's and I didn't even give you anything, not even a greeting. I knew you were expecting one, but there was nothing for you. I didn't show up at the guild and I locked myself in my house, drowning myself in alcohol—but of course, you didn't know that. None of you ever knew why I acted so strange, or why I was turning this way. Still, it was worth the shot._

_February 25, 2014_

_It's our anniversary today, and I sent Happy to fetch you. He told me you were so happy that I remembered, and that maybe there was still hope for the two of us. But when you arrived in my home, did you see me? No, right? All you saw was an empty house, some woman's clothes hung over the chair and a lipstick found on my nightstand. The sheets were messed up, and I made sure to make it seem like the room was hot, like something happened._

_And Happy told me you ran out of my house, crying like there was no more tomorrow._

_March 16, 2014_

_This was the day when we first went out on a date. I still remember that night like the back of my hand. I remember how words abandoned me when I picked you up and how you looked so stunning in that red dress. But when I appeared on your house today and you were expecting an apology, all I did was give you back the jacket you gave me. I threw it at your face and I watched as your lips trembled and you slammed the door shut._

_April 1, 2014_

_It's April Fools and I talked to you. I told you that I loved you, and that I did all those cruel things because someone was threatening to kill you if I didn't do it. You looked so relieved and heartbroken at the same time when you learned of my reasoning. But when you hugged me, I whispered in your ear, "April Fools."_

_You then slapped me and ran out of the guild. I received a beating after that, but I didn't fight back. I allowed them to hurt me._

_April 15, 2014_

_Lucy Heartfilia, if you're still reading this, then you must know that I never wanted to do all of those. Kissing Juvia was like kissing water, and kissing some other girl felt like I was kissing a rock. Every time I did those cruel things, I'd go home and drive my fist to the wall, pouring out all the anger I have for myself. I bet you're thinking… why did I do this? Why did I hurt you? Why do all those things for nothing?_

_I have leukemia, Lucy. At first I refused to believe it and acted like nothing was wrong. But then reality struck me and I realized that it was the truth. I had to accept the fact that I would be leaving you one day, and that I would never see you again. I had to grasp that I was going to leave you all alone, broken and grieved. So, I decided that before I die, I was going to make you hate me. I wanted you to loathe me to the point where you couldn't even stand hearing my name._

_I thought that maybe this way, it would be easier for you to let go, since you wouldn't be so attached anymore. You'd say that you didn't care because I was such an ass. I wanted you to despise me simply because I thought that this would be the only way for you to forget me easily. It was agonizing to see you cry so much, and to know that your tears were caused by my actions only seemed to add to the pain. I tried to act like nothing was wrong with me, and it worked out, but it just hurt so much that I didn't know how to handle it anymore._

_Now that you've read this, I want you to do me a favor. No, this is a wish, my dying wish. I want you to find someone who will love you better than I did. Find someone who will take care of you for the rest of your life, someone who will never hurt you like how I did. I want you to love someone worth calling a man and never, ever love one who will die before you. _

_This is my last wish, and I want you to know that even though I caused you so much pain and suffering, I still love you. I will love you until death and even when you're married, I'll still love you. I will watch over you, and I'll make sure that no one will hurt you. I'll protect you and love you at the same time from the skies._

_Natsu, you might be reading this and if you are, please give it to Lucy. Heaven knows she needs to know why I hurt her so much and that she didn't deserve a bastard like me._

_Farewell… Lucy Heartfilia Fullbuster._

_Hey, that didn't sound so bad now, did it?_

Tears fell from Lucy's eyes as she gripped the paper tightly in her hand, her body shaking with barely contained sobs. She clutched her head with her free hand and gritted her teeth, using the last bit of strength in her to not cry. However, the tears still surged on, falling and dripping to the floor like rain. Her knees gave out on her and she held the letter close to her heart, uttering words over and over under her breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry."

Natsu and Mirajane looked away, unable to watch the blonde anymore as she pounded her fists on the floor, her voice rising to a crescendo. After a while, she quieted down and curled on the floor, staring blankly into space. She sniffed and shakily raised the paper so she could stare at it, her lips trembling at the sight of his messy handwriting. She closed her eyes and placed a gentle kiss on the parchment.

"Don't worry," she whispered, "I still love you too."

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**A/N:** I know, I know, I'm cruel. This one-shot erupted from a file in my cousin's school. Someone typed it in there and she made me read it cause she told me she cried over it. I didn't though, but it was heartbreaking indeed. There's a reason why tears refuse to leave my eyes now, and it's saddening to say that the reasons are bad. That was true though, someone really did all those awful things because he was dying.

Anyway, if you've spotted mistakes, please forgive me. I hope you liked the one-shot and please drop a review :)

_"There are a hundred ways to tell you I love you, but I just can't seem to find them anymore."_

_Bye! -Anne :D_

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_- Please support/read my other stories: **Celebrity Issues, Good Meets Bad, Forgotten Memories, Life's Challenges, Queen of Stars, A Love That Lasts Forever, Fragile **and **Going Against The Current.**_


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